I think we kind of idealise the concept of forever. In truth of course, forever doesn’t exist for anything. Not in this realm anyway.
I think I haven’t written any posts in a month. And yet, much has happened in my life.
Several phases have started and ended. Some were exhilarating and some devastating.
A month ago I had an emergency trip to Portugal because my Dad, who was my Mom’s full time carer, collapsed on the floor – on two separate occasions. He reached the end of a phase. The phase where he took care of my Mom, the house and everything else by himself.
I went there to lend support and help in the transition phase of taking my Mom to a nursing home. I cannot express in words how difficult that was for me. Mostly because I had to be a rock for my Dad and the rest of the family while dying a little inside.
What my Dad is struggling to accept is that a new phase started also – the phase in which he gained his own life back. Don’t get me wrong – this whole situation is full of pain and sorrow, but I think it’s important that we look at the silver lining too.
Even for my Mom, she is being taken care of by professionals, in a way my Dad was not able to.
I think when we have kids we kind of grasp right away that everything is a phase. And that gives us strength to cope with the difficult times, the sleepless nights, the teething, the potty training, etc because we know “that too shall pass”.
I recently heard a very successful lady giving a talk and she said that most new Moms think that the first few years are the toughest for a Mom. But actually, in reality, in the early years there’s a lot you can delegate, outsource. As your kids grow and enter new phases, there’s no substitute for you. You need to be there.
In this last month I have gone through what felt like an emotional hurricane. On a personal level, I too realised that a phase of my life is closing. And although it’s painful to accept, I prefer to continue looking ahead in the hope that a new, more fulfilling phase, will begin.
In the meantime, I hold on to all the wonderful people and things I have in my life – my kids, my extended family, my very close friends, my startup, my career, my passions…
Because the important message to pass on to those little people in your life really is that in every phase that comes and goes there is pleasure and there is pain and we need to take one with the other. And nothing better than life (theirs and yours) to teach them and prepare them for that.
❤