When you walk out of Uni, degree in hand, and all your career possibilities still in front of you, your hopes and dreams are of success, of fulfilment, of money in the bank. Mostly, you hope you’ll enjoy the ride.
At some point, or actually, every time you’re brushing the dust off of your cv when looking for the next opportunity, you take a minute to look back and acknowledge all that you’ve achieved so far.
There may have been bumps in the road, there may have been leaders you hated and made you cry, there may have been colleagues you wished you never met. But the memory is a funny thing… it tends to wash away most of the details on the bad memories, and leaves only the good ones.
What does this have to do with motherhood? Well, if I had thought, 20 years ago, that I could look back at my career and celebrate so many wins, I’d be a happy youngling.
And this year, last month in fact, as I crashed my daughter’s 14th birthday party with her teenage friends to sing her happy birthday on a mini-strawberry tart and take a selfie for posterity, I realised that I should acknowledge that I’ve been a mother for 14 years!! Surreal as it is, that’s a pretty long career already!!
And sure enough, it has been full of ups and downs, but without a doubt, worth every minute of it.
It kind of feels like a new chapter is brewing. They’re not babies anymore (although they still call me when they have nightmares), and adolescence is here for the eldest and just around the corner for the other two.
I remember a wise woman telling me once at a ‘Women in IT conference’ in the US, “You think they need you more when they’re babies. Wait and see…”
The ask on us may be different, but it’s no less of a challenge. And just like when you start a new job, you question yourself “am I cut out for this? What experience do I have? What value can I offer here?”, the same thing is happening now when I look at my kids. Impostor syndrome is real and it cuts across all aspects of our lives. Questions marks show up in which ever direction I look.
Yet, as usually happens in motherhood, we press on, despite the doubts and fears. And so, as this “new chapter” starts, what I hope for is that ten years from now, I can look back, update the “Mom CV” with meaningful achievements and be proud of a job well done.
Onwards and upwards! 💙