I tell my child to do something. Let’s say it’s “put the brown shoes on so we can go”. He says “I want the wellies Mommy”. This is probably a silly example, but it’s the first one that comes to mind.
So I say “No, darling, it’s the brown shoes”. Inevitably, there’s some screaming or shouting or stomping his feet on the floor “I WANT THE WELLIES!!!”
So I turn to him and say “Mr A, you have two options. Option 1, you put on the brown shoes and I will take you out for a walk. Option 2 is we don’t go anywhere. Choose!”
It’s quite simple for a toddler to understand the concept of two options. And they also wise up pretty quickly about choosing the right option. But if you give them too many options, or you start offering alternatives, then it’s game over for you even before you start playing. They are just too clever and they can push and push and push a little bit further every time…
Another example just occurred to me. Mr A started a tantrum because he wanted to have water in the blue cup and I had brought the orange cup. So I said “Option 1 – water in the orange cup, Option 2 – no water. Choose”. Visibly annoyed, he said in a low voice “Option 1!”. And the tantrum was finished too.