They all said that having a “fantastic divorce” was impossible. I was crazy and delusional to think that.
Some said it was gonna get very ugly, some said there is no such thing as an easy divorce.
But both my ex and I were determined to prove them wrong. Throughout our journey together we did grow up a bit, especially after attending the Landmark Forum, a self discovery and self development 3 day intensive course, where you challenge yourself, your beliefs and values, your posture in life and come out of it a different, (arguably) better person.
It was there that we heard our seminar leader Rachel talk about a fantastic divorce. Roughly her words were something like “ok so you have come to the end of that road. There is no need to have a war. If you have decided to divorce, make it a fantastic one. For you both, for your children, for your families and friends. For your inner peace”.
At times, I didn’t think it was possible. We had several arguments, mostly about money (what else?). But even though it took several months between agreeing to separate and the actual divorce, even though we moved slowly through each step, we navigated all the possibilities and we arrived at a place of understanding, agreement and, most importantly, peace.
So, it’s not surprising, that given the chance, I would pick a day with significance. On the 11th hour, of the 11th day of the 11th month, our divorce was declared. It was a simple process, the conclusion of something that started, in fairness, a few years ago, but which neither of us, for a long time, wanted to face head on.
The most important thing is that we made it. We had 16 years together. Years of good and bad moments, of laughter and of tears, years of life… And we got out of it with our heads held high and with respect for each other. With friendship, with care.
We grew up together and that counts for something.
Our children have taken it all very well. There are no hard feelings that we can see, and that was the main goal. We wanted them to understand, to acknowledge, that no matter what, we are still their parents and nothing will change our love for them.
I look to the future with hopeful eyes. I am a happy mother of 3. And I am free to go out and pursue another chance at being happy.
And that’s what life is all about!