It’s been a little over 3 months since I lost my job due to redundancy and finalised my divorce.
I’d love to tell you that in this time at home I’ve basically been looking for jobs whilst enjoying every moment possible with the kids. But it couldn’t be further from the truth.
The truth is that after having three simultaneous job opportunities on my plate at the end of the year, none of them came to fruition and that knocked me down.
I didn’t think that I would react like this. It’s like something took over me and now all I want to do is be in my little cave, my refuge away from the world, where everything is safe.
I did manage to spend a lovely Christmas with the kids and my new partner in Portugal but when I came back to reality in January, the same truth awaited me.
I have tried to kickstart the job search again and have spoken to some recruiters. Each time I have a professional conversation it’s like my spirit rises again. I never saw it like this, but it’s amazing how much sense of self-worth we draw from our day job. Having no job has made me feel really down and that has really surprised me.
There are many other facets of my life that are still going on, happily I should add, and yet, it’s been a real challenge to climb out of the hole.
It was half term week this week and I forced myself to get out of the house and take the kids to a soft play venue. I forced myself to take off my shoes and get in there with them. And I felt good, I felt alive, I felt I was creating memories, happy memories, for them.
I’m going to continue to force myself up, one step at a time, until I’m clear of this depressive mood I found myself in. Motivation thrives in action. So I march forward. For me and for my family. Job or no job.