A couple of weeks ago the US navy announced that they were tripling the Maternity leave entitlement for Navy Moms-to-be. This was of course great news as it could be the start of something bigger for US women in general.
We have a Women group chat at work and there was immediately some chatter about this and how it was a move in the right direction. Being part of an international company there are lots of differences we can talk about regarding policies and benefits around the world. The move by the US navy is fantastic but still falls way behind the entitlements of European countries.
At one point in the chat, we were talking about how men (Dads) in some countries can also take part of the time off to look after the baby full time. The conversation took a wrong turn when one lady said that she was teaching her daughter that women were superior to men because we can give birth and breastfeed.
One of my colleagues had the guts to speak up when all others were silent. “What of women that can’t or choose not to have children? And what about women that can’t breastfeed? Are they inferior?”
I agreed with her on the chat. My view is that we have to fight for and establish a society of equality. This should be the baseline. There are always some people that are going to be better at some things than others, men or women”.
My colleague and I had a private chat after – I said “Thanks for speaking up! We’re already coming from behind; preaching superiority will only make things worse”. She replied “yes, that’s exactly what I think. Statements like that are what give feminism a bad name…” She then said something that really sums it up – “it seems that for many people “equal” is the synonym of “identical”, which doesn’t make much sense to me…”
For as long as we can remember that women were considered inferior, in this “man’s world” we live in. And then a bunch of women burnt bras and feminism started.
When I was growing up, both my parents worked full time. Yes, I could see that my Mom and Dad had different roles in the house. He was considered the head of the home and she was the one that looked after the house, and us. In many ways they were the traditional family. I have only one sibling, also a girl, so no boys in the house apart from Dad. And I don’t recall there ever being a time when my Dad (or Mom) implied that there were boundaries or barriers to what I could do in life because I was a girl.
Being equal is definitely not the same as being identical. And who wants a society of “identicals”?? We would all be robots! But the baseline of equality should be a given. And we should teach our children (boys and girls) to expect equality. Not only when it comes to their careers, but also in the family dynamic, and in society in general.
Everyone has their specific gifts, talents, etc. There will always be people that are superior to others in something. That’s what makes them unique. We should always celebrate those differences. Even in our own children.
They are not the same as their siblings, and they should know from an early age that that is ok. As long as we teach them that they have the same rights as everyone else, no matter their gender, religion, sexual inclination… And the same responsibilities too!
I would love to see my son be a fantastic 50/50 Dad to his kids or my daughters fly to Jupiter’s base station or build sky scrappers! That’s up to them of course. As far as it goes for me, I just want to pass on the right message… equal, not identical!