While I was in the US this past week I was chilling out in my room in the evening perusing my Facebook news feed. I bumped into this post from Sheryl Sandberg (the COO of Facebook).
Sheryl is possibly one of the most successful women in technology today and so she’s a role model to me. A source of inspiration of where one dreams their career will end up.
Reading this very long and very heartfelt post, however, drove me to tears. Here I was, thousands of miles away from my family, doing a job I love, but at the same time, missing my daughter blowing the candles on an impromptu cake made out of muffins that my husband and his parents organised for an afternoon tea on her birthday.
Yes, I was only away for a few days and yes I have organised a proper birthday party for them on the weekend. But still it was hard watching the short video my sister-in-law made of them singing happy birthday to my daughter and not being there.
Sheryl is one of those people that has reached the top and probably had a dream life. One of those lives that we look up to, that we wish for, that we envy. She was one of those women that “had it all”.
And then, God, life, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, pulls the rug from under her. Reminds her (and us) that life is fragile and that ultimately we are not in control of almost anything.
As I read her post, memories of my lost loved ones came pouring back. And not only that, the thoughts of how I hang on to resentments, arguments, mistakes, etc. mostly towards my husband, mostly because of some measure of expectations I have that are not met by him and for which I make a point of making sure he knows how unhappy that makes me by making him unhappy in return.
Life ends without notice, without warning, without a happy ending. It happens before the game ends, before you finish that book, before you have that chat with your Mom.
And sometimes, we need to be reminded of that. Be it by the loss of a loved one, a friend of a friend, or even Sheryl’s husband.
We’re reminded to appreciate every moment. To love the imperfect people in our lives, just as they are. And love ourselves, just as we are.
When tragedy hits (and it hits everyone to some extent given that we are all mortals), it’s so important to be able to say that that person lived life to the fullest.
I hope that my husband and I learn from this. Learn to appreciate each other more, just as we are. Learn to live every possible moment, not just pass the time. And more importantly, show our children by example what a life well lived means. What it means to fill your years with life, rather than just seeing life pass by your years.