Before I was ever pregnant I utterly lacked any sensibility for pregnant women and how the daily commute might be difficult for them.
Once I became one of “them”, then I certainly could relate. Especially in those first 3 months of pregnancy when I was feeling extremely nauseous, but there was no visible signs of pregnancy. It was also too soon to have a “Baby on board” badge because I hadn’t told at work that I was pregnant.
During my first pregnancy I developed a thick skin. I was commuting in the tube daily and, more often than not, the train was full and it was near impossible to get a seat. Most people that were seated had their eyes down on newspapers, books, e-readers, etc. and a load of them had headphones.
I know that when we’re pregnant we are more sensitive, have hormones floating around and we don’t always feel strong or assertive. But after being in bed for the best part of 3 months, I told myself it was worth being balsy.
And so as soon as I hopped on a train I would go straight to the nearest priority seat and ask the person to give me the seat. If they were eyes down, headphones on ears, it didn’t matter, I would wave in their face.
There was never a time when someone refused to get up. Even in the early stages when you couldn’t see a bump. Granted that in pregnancy #2 and #3 I basically had “bump” from day 1 😉
The other day I was on the train sitting on an aisle seat and a lady leaned against the side of the seat which was rather uncomfortable for me. I spoke up, at which point she turned around and said she needed to lean because she was pregnant.
This lady must have been 8 months pregnant (judging by the size of her tummy) and yet she didn’t ask anyone for a seat. I promptly gave up my seat of course, and got thinking of the reasons why pregnant women refrain from asking people to get up.
It may be a cultural thing, I don’t know. What I do know is that the daily commute is much easier for a pregnant woman if they have a chance to sit down. And so, it is worth asserting your right and asking for someone to get up.
Even if there are people that (to themselves) think it’s our choice to carry a baby and you should be treated like anyone else, the facts on the ground are that they will still get up because they don’t want to look bad to others on the train/bus.
So I urge you, from the moment you put that “Baby on board” badge on your coat, do yourself a favour and speak up. Not just for you, but also for your baby.