I attended a Career Development day for women at my work the other day. There were about 100 women in a room, all from different parts of the company, and from different countries/backgrounds. There was a group of five women at our table.
It was a very interactive day, with lots of discussions around issues and strategies to help women progress in their career.
The first challenge of the day was when they asked us to introduce ourselves to the group at our table, without talking about work or family. That was really hard. Since I can remember, that whenever I talk about myself I talk about being an IT person. And since being a mother, that comes up every single time too.
Luckily I didn’t go first so I had a couple of minutes to think. I spoke about being Portuguese and having lived in South Africa. I spoke of my love of singing and travelling. And that I probably needed some exercise. The other ladies also spoke about their background and their interests, so it became easier to talk after the first couple of ladies.
But it got me thinking about identity and work/life balance. Even those of us that don’t go back to work or that go back part-time should have some balance. Looking after the kids full time is work.
I took pause, looked at my life and started thinking about identity. In a typical week I am at work for about 40 hours, I commute for another 6, and I spend most of the remaining time either with the kids, the hubby, sleeping, eating or watching something on Netflix (yes, ok I do shower and go to the loo too!).
I do go singing once a week (to the choir) and I recently started going to Zumba classes once a week too.
But is that enough? Who am I without work and the kids? What are my dreams and hobbies? Do I dedicate enough time to those things that give me energy, that make me feel me?
At the end of the event presentations there was a panel of ladies talking about their experiences (as women in their career). One of the ladies said something that really hit hard: “if you’re going to be at work, and taking that time from being with your family, then do it for something that has an impact. It’s not worth it stealing the time from your family if you’re not doing something that is worth it”.
I feel fortunate that I love my job and that I know I have an impact on people’s lives. But I’m sure there are many women that go to work because they have to. And they would much rather be spending time with their family, or following their dreams.
Kids pick up on what life should be from our example. They look at our lives and see a blueprint of what theirs should or will be. Even if you are trapped in your situation, make it a priority to take some time, even just a little time, to follow your dreams or do stuff just for yourself, for your soul, for your joy.
You will be happier for it, and your kids will too, in the long run.