One of my friends asked me the other day “Why don’t you write a blog?”… I must confess it’s not something I ever thought about doing. I am an avid internet user and find everything I want to know online. I search forums, read news online, heck, I even listen to music and watch movies and TV online… but I never really followed blogs.
And so I said to my friend “why a blog, about what?”. “About motherhood” she said. And she continued “I don’t have kids, but I find myself giving your advice to other moms I know… I thought they might want to hear it from the horse’s mouth”.
And so the seed was planted, and a few weeks later, here I am, in the blogosphere…
I guess before I can write about anything, I should probably say a bit about my family and I. I am Portuguese and I have an IT degree. I started playing with computers when I was about 11 and wrote my first programme when I was 12. A female IT geek – not very common in the eighties 😉
When I was 24, I decided life in Portugal was getting too emotionally complex (but that would be the subject of a different blog) and left the land of the navigators to go as south as I could go. I moved to South Africa.
I lived in South Africa for 2½ years. I met my (now) husband there and we moved together to London a few years ago. As it happened, his parents and sister also came to London just after we did, so we have close family nearby.
I left some fantastic friends in South Africa. I can’t speak highly enough of these people. I was totally alone in that place and I found a new family. I don’t see them much, but thanks to Facebook, we keep in touch.
And so a new life began in London when I was 27… fast forward a few years and I am a Mom of 3 beautiful kids – Miss Z (5), Mr A (3) and Miss A (6 months).
I wouldn’t necessarily be presumptuous to think that having 3 kids under the age of 6 makes me an expert in motherhood, but I have had reasonable success so far and, given my friend’s suggestion, I figured I could share some insights on how I handled certain situations, where I got the advice from, and what techniques I use. I will most likely also mention some things that I wouldn’t do if I was you…
For me being a mother doesn’t mean I have these little children and they are mine. They are not here to give me something, to make me feel good or loved, to make me feel cosy at night. I am here to give them something – my love, my values, a good education, tools and wisdom on how to be happy in this world. And most important of all, to teach them how to be independent. My decisions on day to day situations are based on the question: “what is better for them in the long run?”, rather than “how can I fix this situation quickly so that I can get back to what I was doing? (or get back to sleep, or make them shut up, or….)”
As the kids advance in age sometimes I find myself in completely unchartered waters. I had no clue what being a Mother was all about until I brought Miss Z home and realised I better learn fast. And as the time goes, I find that Miss Z, as the oldest, is always keeping me on my toes, and I have to keep up with the learning… the learning of “The Art of Motherhood”.
DISCLAIMERS: All in all, I’m no expert… and I certainly fail… many times. I am writing this blog with the best of intentions… but you (the reader) can take it or leave it, I don’t mind. You don’t have to agree with me. It’s ok. I won’t get into discussions though… I have little time, I hope you understand.
I will probably refer to “Mom” all the time… and baby will be he or she depending on who I was thinking about. This is not intended as an offense to anyone, so here’s my only politically correct disclaimer: Dad’s, I love you too!
I may very well blog about stuff as I remember, and not necessarily in a chronological order of events or kids age… If that doesn’t work, I’ll re-think later. I am a novice blogger after all 😉
And so, let me begin…