I find myself getting very nostalgic every time I look through the “memories of the day” on my cloud photos app.
It seems like such a distant memory those days when I had 3 sweet kids under the age of 6! I felt, back then, that I was doing a good job as a Mom! Heck, I even started a blog I was so confident! I thought I could help other Moms too!
These days, it couldn’t be further from the truth.
I can’t even imagine what it would be like if I had the same feelings of doubt about my professional career. Throughout my working life there certainly have been moments when I felt inadequate, out of my debt, outright dumb, but they were the exception. Most of the time, I’ve been confident in my abilities, successful in my delivery and, dare I say, a go-to person to other colleagues, to assist on challenges they might have.
But with motherhood, the “experience” section on the CV seems to count for nothing. Each year gone by, I end up rating myself more inadequate or incompetent; it seems that every time I overcome a situation, that experience is no longer needed because a new one is before me, one I have no knowledge or skill to deal with. And so again it goes, trying to find a new way, a new strategy, to overcome it. As best as I can.
If my performance as a Mom was a factor in my annual bonus at work, I would be in big trouble. 😉
And then, I come across a reel on my social media feed about Parenthood. The guy in the video mocks the fact that you’re only loved for about 10 to 13 years, followed by a few years or resentment and disdain, at which point your kids will love you again, depending on how loaded your bank account is. It’s a rather cynical view (it was meant to be comical) on the subject, but it did make me laugh and it gave me comfort somehow. I was not alone in doubting myself.
It’s normal to have doubts when you’re in uncharted waters. When, even though there’s a wealth of materials on the subject in books and online these days, you still feel all alone in your path.
But that really isn’t the case. All the challenges of being a parent are being felt by millions every day. We all share the same pain, the same difficulties, the same doubts.
Yet, we plough on. In this unpaid, long hours, demanding, sometimes lonely and exasperating, most important job of our lives! Each day, to the best of our abilities. Sometimes better, sometimes worse. But never giving up!
Keep calm and carry on!
Love and hugs. ❤️