Right around the time Mr A was 1 year old and Miss Z was 3, she started wanting me to stay with her until she fell asleep. I don’t know if it was because she started feeling that Mr A had a lot more attention all of a sudden.
Our bedtime routine had been the same for a long time. A bedtime story, a few songs (3 if it was me, about 10 if it was Daddy), lights out and kiss and hug goodnight.
But all of a sudden this wasn’t enough. She didn’t cry but she would whinge a bit. As I had baby Mr A in the next door room, sound asleep, I wanted to avoid an escalation to a full blown cry.
So I implemented the 1 minute rule (not to be confused with the baby 1 minute cry technique ;).
After the story, the songs, the kisses and hugs, but before she started complaining I asked her “do you want me to stay for a minute?”, to which of course she said yes.
And so I would tell her to turn to her side, and I’d hold her. I would then count slowly to 60 in a whisper. And when I was done, I’d kiss her again and leave.
The first couple of times she still complained “don’t go Mommy”, but I told her that I also needed to go to sleep and that I could only fall asleep in my bed.
This proved to be a very efficient rule and when I moved Mr A to the same room, I’d do it with both of them (one at a time). It became our thing – to count to 60. Amazing how time went by so quickly that before I knew it, she was counting with me 😉
I haven’t used that technique in a while. I think it also helped that they are together in the same room because they’re quite happy going to bed without complaining. Sometimes Mr A has a little bit of a cry if Miss Z is not coming to bed at the same time as him, but that’s normal – he just needs some extra cuddles.
I suspect I’ll use it again with Miss A 🙂